Invite Your Dragon to Tea

I was dealing with some potential embarrassment the other day; I had brunch with an older, wiser woman with whom I’d not had a heart to heart in a very long time. We were laying our recent personal growths & awareness points on the table from the last year or so, & I confessed to not only ending a relationship with a suspected addict in deep denial but facing my own issues about it all, addiction, denial, codependency, etc. etc. I had been working through it slowly & that was one of the reasons for the drifting apart. Her response in regards to him was the same as everyone else, “You mean you did not know?”

She knew. Apparently everyone else knew just from observation. No. That’s what I am talking about. I knew something was very, VERY wrong & very, VERY different, but I did not know. I did not know what his addiction was – maybe it was money, drugs, alcohol, sex, women, fame, work, who knows?! I knew, but I did not know. Perhaps I chose not to know? Maybe it was easier to join him on those fun days when we were totally there for each other in complete abandon & just not care about what was wrong, because after all, that is all he was around for. When it got rocky was when I asked too many questions or expected too much. After all, he wasn’t the first dysfunctional person with a habit that I’d met. We all have hang-ups. A good match is when you can accept not tolerate the other person. He seemed to function, until he did not. He seemed lucid, until he wasn’t. He was present, until he didn’t show up. He told the truth, until his lies or delusions were bigger. I don’t mean to sound like I am blaming or bashing him; I am to fault as well because obviously it takes two to tango & I let it happen. But what sucks about dancing with a partner like this is they blame you (me) for getting the steps wrong. And I’m a pretty good dancer.

Just like all the others before, I started to realize this wasn’t about me not measuring up, this was something I could not help with. These were demons that were older & bigger than me. I knew exactly what these looked like. My demons showed up from time to time, taunting me, teasing me, inviting me to just give in & be free & live life on my own fucking terms, who cares, right? But when I throw all caution to the wind, these crazy demons, man, they are like dragons without reins & they’ll take you on a ride for your life! The trick to taming your dragon is learning how to rein it in & manage it, on your own terms. Respect it, so it will respect you. Understand why it behaves in such a way, so you can nurture it properly & master it, instead of having it act like a defiant child overtaking the classroom. Yes, I am referring to our Shadow side; our demons, dragons, Bete Noir, we all have a dark beast to feed within our selves.

Invite your dragon to tea & make peace with it. There is a reason it wants your attention. One cannot deny this side of Self; the trick is to acknowledge it is there because if you repress it, it will be your demise. It will make you sick. Bring it out into the Light & you heal. So, when I recognized mine, I continued to heal. And others shrank back, their dragons howling & flapping with them, unable to deal with that. Not everybody can handle someone outgrowing them.

And which He am I really referring to anyway? It could be any of them. So I laugh when somebody says “Oh your poor girl, you’ve had such bad luck with men!” I laugh because I think to myself, “Are you kidding me? I am so lucky!”

And so all this was going on inside my head as I looked up & across the table at my brunch companion & said, “It took me awhile but I finally woke up”. She nodded in affirmation & we both sipped our tea in silence.

Yes. I woke up & realized my worth, & in the process, tamed my dragon.


In love & light,

Elizabeth Garland,

Founder of Soul Nourishing, LLC


Copyright 2011-2015

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Workshop: Meditate, Celebrate, Create!

Join Elizabeth (Betsey) Garland, Founder & Personal Development Coach of Soul Nourishing, LLC in a morning meditation as we celebrate where our journey has taken us up to this moment, and open to the joy that awaits us. As we release what no longer serves us, we create the space for new visions, desires and dreams. Bring your endings as we’ll cast and ignite them into the fire pit, and then bring to life what you would like to manifest in your unique vision board. As we celebrate over brunch, we create new beginnings! Join us!

  • Saturday, January 24, 2014
  • 9:00-12:00 PM
  • $45 (includes continental breakfast & vision board supplies)
  • Pre-Registration Required. http://www.meetup.com/Soul-Nourishing/events/219538876/
  • (Must be paid in advance to ensure enough items are purchased. Sorry, no walk-ins.)
  • NOTE – this location has pets.

What is a Vision Board?

A vision board is a poster board of images/symbols/words that represent who you want to be, what you want to obtain, where you want to live, your ideal job, a life change, etc. There are multiple options of how to design & decorate them, what is most important is that each one is unique for the person & purpose for which it was created. The idea is that by surrounding yourself with images that match your desires, you can bring clarity and manifestation into a reality.

We’ve had great success with clients that create them each year. Looking forward to seeing you at this next gathering!

In love & light, Betsey xo

Elizabeth Garland, M.S., CPLC, MNLP, CGRS

Founder & Personal Development Coach with Soul Nourishing, LLC


Soul Nourishing MeetUp, Classes & Workshop Facilitator

Copyright 2015 Soul Nourishing, LLC

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Practice Makes Perfect

Everyone is talking about goals right now, or perhaps just the folks I am around. I've heard from more than a few people how they need to become more "disciplined" in order to improve their lives. Other people are complaining and beginning to "resent" these "obligations" they've imposed on themselves. Why so much conflict over personal growth? I suggest replacing the word "practice" for the word “discipline”. It is kinder, gentler and for some may have a more healing or spiritual tone to it. When one realizes with self-compassion that they are accountable only to themselves to show up daily to do whatever it is they want to improve for themselves – they do it.

For example:  If I want to lose weight so I can feel better, look good and fit into my pants, eventually I do one of two things – begin to meet some wellness goals regarding food and exercise, or go buy new pants. However, if my financial goal was to avoid spending money on clothes, then I have another conflict and have to be accountable to that. Is it more rewarding to eat the hamburger and fries, sit on the couch and buy new pants? or is it more rewarding to eat the apple, go exercise and fit into my existing clothes? Powerful and connected choices to be aware of. More importantly, WHY did I establish a wellness and a financial goal in the first place? I am taking personal responsibility for myself today and in the future. There is no family or corporate structure to depend on for these. As a single woman, it is vital to do this for myself. Ignoring it is not an option, but facing it does not need feared; resources such as compassion, creativity and coaching help. Yes, knowledge and direction from experts in Health and Wellness, Exercise, Business, Finance, etc. We all may need coaches at different times in our lives when we are ready for positive growth!

I do what I can to enjoy every moment of today, but I think of my future when I want to take shortcuts and this helps me reframe my thoughts/actions to make better choices. Hence, we begin to create self discipline for our own daily practice(s) because it we have now given value to them and they are not just obligations or tasks. They are promises to our future selves. Mastery is 10,000 hours of a particular craft, skill or practice. Keep at your goals, no matter what they are and you will become the Master you seek! Please keep in touch with your progress and if you ever need help, I'm just an email away! Good luck!

~ Betsey


In love, light and gratitude,

Elizabeth Garland, M.S., CPLC, MNLP, GRS

Founder and Personal Development Coach with Soul Nourishing, LLC



Copyright Soul Nourishing 2011-2014


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